Year: 2021
“Our Lady of Thrones” Retro VHS Art
Retro VHS art for Our Lady of Thrones!
“His Nocturnal Majesty” Retro VHS Art
Retro VHS art for His Nocturnal Majesty!
“Summer’s End II” Retro VHS Art
Here’s some retro VHS art for Summer’s End II!
“Summer’s End” Retro VHS Art
Here’s some retro-VHS box art for Summer’s End!
The Gods Can Handle Our Anger
It’s okay to be angry or upset with the Gods, and it’s okay for us to tell Them so as well.
A very good friend of mine occasionally becomes profoundly angry with Set and/or the other Netjeru for not saving them from the horrific things they endured as a child. When this happens, they put away every religious icon they own. When they are especially upset, they might even smash these holy images in a fit of blind rage. Then they feel guilty and anxious afterwards, fearing the Netjeru will punish them for being so disrespectful.
(I will not go into details, but I do wish to be extra super double sure I’m making myself absolutely clear on this point: these behaviors are coming from a place of pain and fear, not from a place of pride or insolence. Any comments that assume otherwise will be removed. Thank you.)
When my friend confides in me about these occasions, I do what I always do. I gently remind them that no, they are not bad for feeling anger, and no, they are not bad for expressing their anger to the Gods.
The ancient Egyptians got angry with the Netjeru all the time, even threatening to withhold offerings from Them if They failed to answer certain prayers in times of great need. Here, the God-and-worshiper relationship is symbiotic and reciprocal. We must give to the Gods, but the Gods must also give to us. If the Gods give and we do not, They can condemn or abandon us; and if we give and the Gods do not, we can condemn or abandon Them.
Mind you, the Netjeru are not mere genies who exist just to grant our wishes. It is unreasonable to condemn or abandon Them for not solving all of our problems for us. But it is at least reasonable for devotees to expect some kind of benefit from worshiping Them. We deserve to at least feel guided or supported by our Gods somehow; and if a deity can’t even seem to deliver that much for whatever reason, it is only natural for a person to stop worshiping Them.
The idea that we are obligated to continue worshiping a particular God no matter what They do or don’t do for (or to) us is profoundly un-Setian. I would argue it is even un-Kemetic, since each of the Netjeru can potentially receive angry tirades or threats of abandonment from Their followers. Besides, even if you scream obscenities at a Netjer, you are still communicating with Them in a heartfelt manner. You are still engaging Them in a kind of prayer. You are just praying a prayer of grievance rather than gratitude, if you will.
So I tell my friend it’s absolutely okay for them to put away their religious icons whenever they feel upset with the Gods. It’s even okay for them to smash said images when they are especially distressed (provided, of course, that they actually own the icons they smash, and no person or animal gets hurt in the process, including themselves).
Learning about the Netjeru turned out to be very helpful for my friend; yet they are still trying to reconcile their past with the idea that there are actually Gods out there who care about them. If this is true, they ask me, why then did the Gods allow them to be harmed as children?
There is very little anyone can say to answer such a question that is actually helpful (or even truthful, in my opinion at least). All I know is, if the Gods are truly Gods, They are big and tough enough to take our anger, especially if it’s coming from someone who is confused and hurting very deeply.
I also don’t believe for one second that the Gods hold it against anyone for being traumatized and needing help. I think Set would actually prefer that my friend curse and smash His icons to having them traumatize any of the other people in their life. No matter what they might do to His icons, my friend can at least be sure they won’t hurt Set Himself; the same cannot be said for their loved ones.
There aren’t any easy answers for when bad things happen to good people. But if you happen to find yourself in a situation similar to that of my friend, I just want someone to have told you it’s okay. Set is not going to smite anyone just for being traumatized and crying out to Him for help—not even if the only way they are currently able to seek help is combative or confrontational. (He can always smite us for other reasons, of course; but Big Red is big enough to handle our feelings, even the really bad ones.)
It’s Okay To Have Demons
Expecting people to be John Rambo—including Setians—is unrealistic.
It’s fucked up how the behaviors we develop to survive as kids can bite us in the ass when we are grownups.
As a kid, I was conditioned to believe that asserting myself is bad, wrong, mean, and selfish. I was taught that if I love someone, I should just keep my mouth shut whenever they do anything that disappoints me or hurts me. If I speak up about it, I am being an asshole and I don’t deserve to be loved.
How insidious it is that such conditioning can affect us even as adults. I recently lost a good friend who occasionally did things that disappointed me. I kept silent about my feelings for so long that when I finally tried to express myself, it destroyed the friendship. Then I started hating myself for even trying to talk with this person about my misgivings at all. “If I just hadn’t said anything, we would still be friends,” my brain keeps telling me. “I ruined this friendship, and it’s all my fault.”
This kind of childhood conditioning can even affect your professional life. If I land a better job and my current employer gets upset that I am leaving, I feel like a horrible person. I feel like I’m an ungrateful prick. I feel like I’m being mean and something bad is going to happen to me, as a “punishment.” Even when my logical mind knows I am doing something good for myself, even when I remember that other people hire into better jobs all the time; I still feel like I am bad.
Well the reality is that NONE of these things is true. The voice that whispers these awful things to me inside my brain is not my own voice, but the voice of my childhood trauma. When I blame myself for ruining that friendship, or when I hate on myself for doing something that’s good for my own professional development, it is not really me that’s speaking; it’s my male parental unit. It’s the man who bullied me and manipulated me when I was little; the man who was never impressed by anything I tried to do; the man who delighted in making me feel powerless, trapped, and afraid.
I resonate with Set because He refuses to control or be controlled. Like Him, I chafe at the thought of anyone telling me who or what I can or cannot be. And like Him, I absolutely detest the idea of trying to control anyone else’s life. When I came to Set at age 14, it drove my male progenitor nuts. Here was something he couldn’t take away from me, no matter how much he hit me or tried to shame me. He could burn all my books and break all my sacred objects, but he could never remove Set from my heart. And this gave me the resilience I needed to truly start defining myself apart from the toxicity in which I was raised.
But even though I started on this quest all those years ago, the journey is still in progress. I am still learning how things in my childhood are affecting my adult life. I am still learning how to not hate myself when I do things that are good for me. I am still learning how to love myself and not listen to that ugly voice in my mind that expects me to fail. I am still learning how to determine myself and to not let anyone else define me.
So take it from a Setian who has been walking with Big Red for over 24 years… Ain’t NONE of us here are “Nietzschean supermen.” It’s totally OK if you are still fighting demons from your childhood. Nobody, least of all Set, expects you to be John Rambo. (And even if Rambo were real, he’d be suffering from PTSD too, just like all the rest of us.) If you struggle with hating yourself because of traumatic things that happened to you, you are not alone by any stretch of the imagination. And it’s absolutely OK. Just try to remember that when you get to feeling that way, it’s your trauma talking; it is NOT reality. And try to remember too that talking about your feelings is a STRENGTH, not a weakness. Listening to others talk about their feelings, and helping them feel comfortable enough to share them, is a strength as well.
It’s Setian, Not “Satanic”
Christians and Satanists might hate each other’s deities, but Setians can honor Set and Osiris at the same time.
One of the more annoying misconceptions against Setianism is this idea that Set is the “Egyptian devil” or “God of evil,” and that we His followers are all a bunch of raving psychopaths who thrive on chaos and violence. Another annoying assumption is the idea that if you ever attract Set’s attention to yourself, your house will burn down and your entire family will drop dead. (Or something like that.)
People who describe Set as “evil” have no business pontificating on Him (or any other Netjer or Egyptian deity, for that matter). He is really not comparable to the Christian devil at all. He is not a “fallen angel” who tries to drag people down into hell with him. He is a full-blown GOD in His own right. He is a SAVIOR who wards off the monsters of chaos.
Yes, Set has some drama with certain other members of the Egyptian pantheon; but this is not at all relatable to the “God versus Satan” dynamic of Christianity. The antagonism between Set and Osiris, for example, is not about some moral dichotomy of “good versus evil”; it is instead a theological metaphor for how ecosystems and agricultural cycles work. Christians and Satanists might hate each other’s deities, but it is not unusual for Kemetic polytheists to honor Set and Osiris together at the same shrine. This is because we know BOTH Gods are really necessary and good, and that BOTH deserve to be loved and appreciated. That’s just how polytheism works.
And I have never met a single Setian who resembled a real-life Mad Max character, gleefully running from one explosion to the next. Every Setian I know is a regular everyday person who values consistency, security, and safety. We get PTSD when bad things happen to us, just like everyone else. Many of us also seem to work in fields relating to public health, helping other people achieve a better quality of life. I am actually super fucking impressed with the number of Setians I personally know who work as counselors, caregivers, educators, and other similar roles. I think this alone demonstrates that our God is neither as “chaotic” nor as “destructive” as certain people like to think.
As for the idea that reaching out to Set will cause a bunch of chaotic shit to happen in your life… Well I’ve been worshiping Him for more than 24 years now, and it has never caused my life to fall apart. In fact, my life has only become more organized and secure since I first met Him at age 14. Besides, chaotic things will happen to us no matter WHAT we do. They will happen whether we pray to Set or not. They will even happen if we pray to someone else, or if we pray to no one at all. Worshiping Set does not increase anyone’s chances of having chaotic things happen to them; it also doesn’t PREVENT such things from happening, either. But let me tell you, it sure does help to have the Red Lord in your corner during a crisis. Setians do not thrive on chaos; we thrive on SET, who helps us PERSEVERE against chaos.
One other idea I find super annoying is this notion that Setians are supposed to be having intense paranormal experiences all the time, like on a near-daily basis or something. Ghosts, visions, and prophetic dreams are actually just as rare for me as they are for most other people. I suspect this is true of most other Setians, as well.
You don’t have to be a psychic or a ghosthunter to be Setian. Hell, some people don’t even need rituals. Maybe you just don’t “feel right” going through the motions for whatever reason. Maybe you feel more comfortable just meditating, or trying something different. As long as you have Set in your heart, you’re Setian enough by my standards. If people can still be Christian without going to church every Sunday, you can still be Setian without keeping any shrines or casting any spells. We each get to walk with Big Red in our own way.
Our Lady of Thrones (Coming 11/1/2021)
Coming November 1, 2021 to gbmarian.bandcamp.com
Our Lady of Thrones is the follow-up to last year’s His Nocturnal Majesty (2020). Both stories revolve around the appearance of a monster called “the Ungod” in the sky. But while His Nocturnal Majesty concerns one group of characters and their efforts to repel this monster back to the Other Side, Our Lady of Thrones concerns a very different group of characters and their efforts to rebuild human civilization. It is also a double album, with Disc One taking place prior to His Nocturnal Majesty, and Disc Two taking place afterwards.
(For more detailed character biographies, check out His Nocturnal Majesty & Our Lady of Thrones – Cast of Characters.)
Album Art
The Whole Story:
Sorceress (The Prophecy)
When the Sorceress was a girl, Lady Isis spoke to her in dreams, showing her the end of the world. “You must gather as many of your sisters in humanity as you can,” the Goddess advised. “Together, go forth and build the city of New Sennebytos. Those who follow My guidance will survive to heal this world from the horror that is soon to come.”
Witchfinder
No one knew the Witchfinder’s true name or origin, but he could hear thoughts. He knew when other people had similiar abilities to his own. He killed as many such “witches” as he could, one by one, by any means necessary. No matter what was done to stop him, the “God” that commanded him to kill would not let him die. And the Sorceress, still a young girl, was next on his list…
The Church of Many Mothers
The Sorceress traveled far and wide, bringing women together in spirit from across the continent. Caregivers, educators, public servants…all became sisters in Lady Isis, and all pooled their resources to buy land in the West. Together, they built the community of New Sennebytos and made preparations to survive the coming disaster.
Initiation
When Rae first learned of the Church of Many Mothers, she thought they were just another doomsday cult. But it soon became clear the Sorceress was no false prophet. And when Rae saw for herself how safe, happy, and powerful these women were together…she began to realize she was one of them at heart.
The Reverend President
He was a televangelist. He hypnotized the masses into swallowing his toxic brand of Christianity. He advised several American presidents on both foreign and domestic policy. Then the people voted him into the White House, and the Church of Many Mothers became Public Enemy Number One.
Satanic Panic (Disciple of the Worm)
The Reverend President enlisted the aid of the Warlock, who engineered a spell to possess thousands of viewers through their television sets. Like flicking a switch, the evil magicians drove entire communities to commit acts of mass violence and terror. This horror was then blamed on “cults” like the Church of Many Mothers, and the world descended into madness.
Go With The Goddess
It was time for New Sennebytos to retreat underground, but the Sorceress refused to abandon those members of her church who had not yet escaped to the city. She sent her best warriors to rescue as many of their sisters from across the country as they could. One sister chosen for this quest was Rae, who had since taken a wife named Autumn. The lovers feared they might never see each other again.
Escape to New Sennebytos
Along with a warrior named Adrienne, Rae was assigned to rescue those Isians who were trapped in Atlanta. While there, the women were pursued by the Witchfinder. Rae sacrificed herself so that Adrienne and the other women could escape. It broke poor Autumn’s heart when her wife did not return home; but there was nothing to be done. For the end was about to begin…
The Screaming Sky
As civilization decayed, Ma’at began to unravel. Then the Ungod appeared in the sky, just as the Warlock had secretly planned. The monster’s countless tongues slithered down from its gigantic mouth to slowly encircle and devour the entire world. Most everyone who witnessed this immediately went insane. Our planet would never be the same again…
The Shieldmaiden’s Daughter (Part I)
While the Church of Many Mothers remained hidden beneath New Sennebytos, the Shieldmaiden of Set fought to survive above. One day, the Shieldmaiden found an orphaned baby girl, whom she adopted as her own. Whenever mother and daughter both felt hopeless at night, Lord Sutekh appeared and gave them comfort. “You are My Shieldmaidens,” He explained, “and the Ungod will tremble when you are near.”
After the End
After the elder Shieldmaiden of Set repelled the Ungod back to the Other Side, the earth slowly returned to life. The Church of Many Mothers returned to the surface and began to rebuild civilization. They welcomed refugees into their society, and they helped neighboring communities rebuild themselves too. The women of New Sennebytos then became legendary defenders of civility and peace.
Sentinels of Sekhmet
Meanwhile, the Reverend President and the Witchfinder had both survived as well. Together, they transformed Atlanta into a theocratic totalitarian empire: the Kingdom Guard. In time, the Church of Many Mothers sent a special taskforce—the Sentinels of Sekhmet—to infiltrate the Kingdom Guard and help those of its citizens who were trying to escape. Autumn was chosen to lead this quest. She believed her wife Rae might still be alive in Atlanta, and she was desperate to find out.
The Kingdom Guard
The Sentinels of Sekhmet infiltrated Atlanta, searching for citizens who sought refuge. While there, they witnessed just how horrible things within the Kingdom Guard really were. They were soon captured and imprisoned, whereupon they found a tortured and beaten Rae, near death. Sobbing, Autumn embraced her wife and gave thanks to Lady Isis.
The Shieldmaiden’s Daughter (Part II)
Just when the Sentinels of Sekhmet thought they were done for, the second Shieldmaiden of Set appeared, now fully grown. She helped the women break free, and she battled the Witchfinder as they made their escape. All of the women, including the Shieldmaiden, safely returned to New Sennebytos…But not in time for Rae’s life to be saved.
Resurrection Ceremony
Back in New Sennebytos, Autumn begged the Sorceress to use her magic and restore life to Rae. The Sorceress agreed, but explained that her magic could only resurrect Rae for a limited time. Once that time was up, Rae would have to return to the Other Side with all the rest of the dead. The Sorceress performed the ceremony, and Autumn and Rae were able to spend one last night together after all.
Last Embrace
Autumn and Rae spent their last night together in each other’s arms. Rae promised to do whatever she could as a ghost on the Other Side to help Autumn in her battles. Autumn swore she would never take another wife so long as she lived.
Warlocked (Disciple of the Worm)
Before she left this world, Rae told Autumn what she had seen as a prisoner of the Kingdom Guard. Even the Sorceress was surprised to learn the Reverend President was actually long dead, and that his corpse was but a rotting puppet. The Warlock had been the true mastermind all along, manipulating the entire Kingdom Guard for his own purposes. Now he sought to facilitate the Ungod’s return…by destroying New Sennebytos.
Witchfinder General
The Sorceress and the Witchfinder faced each other on the battlefield. The Sorceress was mighty, but even she could not phase her opponent. Then she shouted a word only the Witchfinder could hear. It was a name no one else understood. When the Witchfinder heard this, he froze like a statue…and he never moved again. Exhausted from her injuries, the Sorceress smiled…and then she died.
Defy the Ungod
The women of New Sennebytos launched their final assault against the Warlock’s hordes. They were joined in battle by the Shieldmaiden of Set, who had just returned from reuniting the Knights in Sutekh’s Service. When these mighty Setian warriors joined their Isian sisters on the battlefield, the Kingdom Guard soon dissolved into chaos.
Long Live the Queen
After defeating the Kingdom Guard, the Church of Many Mothers and the Knights in Sutekh’s Service returned to New Sennebytos. All who fell during the battle, including the Sorceress, were given the most beautiful funerals anyone had ever seen. Autumn was then coronated Pharaoh, and with their new Queen, the women of New Sennebytos went forth to continue rebuilding our world.
Episode #68: Summer’s End II (Album)
The soundtrack for an imaginary Halloween-themed anthology horror film, with vignettes featuring banshees, changelings, and Stonehenge.
Summer’s End II is the sequel to my Halloween-themed instrumental album from last year. This batch of gruesome tales includes Stonehenge, a Headless Horseman, and even an apocalyptic supercomputer gone mad. Merry Samhain, and Happy Halloween! 🎃 🎃 🎃
Available for streaming and download on Apple Music and
Bandcamp ; coming soon to other digital music platforms!
Album Art
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Twilight of the Fae
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The Dullahan Rides Out
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Hamadruid
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The Stonehenge Tape
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Changeling
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Jack And His Lantern
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Banshee
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CROM 9000
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The Young and the Headless
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Parliament of Trees